19 Jul
  • Next week I find out if Quetzalcoatl is a boy or a girl!
  • Michael got a big raise – like 15%! After only being there for 2 months!
  • Takahiro brought in a banana cream pie from Tartine to work yesterday, for no reason other than to share it.
  • I like most of the people I work with.
  • The whole constipation symptom of pregnancy seems to be behind me. (Haha! See what I did there? I crack myself up.)
  • There’s a nice farmer’s market down my street every Wednesday after work.


28 Jun
  • This pregnancy seems to be progressing along just fine. I’m almost at the point where I have a real bump and don’t just look fat. 
  • I can eat whatever I want for 5 more months and not feel guilty about gaining weight. 
  • I don’t hate my job. 
  • I have enough money to buy myself a new car, in cash.
  • Michael cleaned up the kitchen, so when I arrived home after 5 days away, it didn’t look like a crime scene.
  • I got to spend a day with Mandy in Hood River, and hang out with her family including a zillion dogs, cats, and chickens. 
  • Mt. Hood and Mt. Ranier both emerged from the rain to show their beautiful selves to me.
  • I’m looking forward to visiting Michael’s family back East next week. 


25 May
  • I survived my first week at the new job! People have been nice to me, and although the job is fraught with some serious problems, I think I can turn it into a positive experience.
  • Only a few more days til I’m at 12 weeks, which means testing for Down Syndrome and moving on to the 2nd trimester. Whatever the results are (praying they’re good), at least I’ll have a definitive answer.
  • Michael and I are going to a 1906 earthquake party at the Academy of Sciences tonight – planetarium and science exhibits, of course, but also can-can dancers, music, and period costumes are encouraged.
  • Space heaters.
  • The solar eclipse was really neat. I went on a little hike with Michael and Aletha, and we looked at it through a pinhole and also through a stack of negatives, but the coolest thing we saw was how it shone through the leaves of a tree, throwing an array of little crescent shapes behind it. As well as the sun, moon, and earth being lined up, the Pleiades constellation were also aligned. Cosmic.
  • My first week on the new job is followed immediately by a 3-day weekend.
  • Viki came out to SF to hang out with me & Michael last night.


18 May
  • I have really good friends who call, email, and go out for meals with me just because they love me.
  • I got a haircut this week (a professional one, for the first time in years) and it looks good! Random men have flirted with me on the street, and a cool girl with a dreadlocked mohawk told me she liked my look. Michael teased me and said it looked like Justin Bieber, which made me crack up.
  • We got a nice Art Deco armoire from some people on Craigslist for really cheap.
  • Mark recommended a book by Martin Seligman called “Flourish,” which is about positive psychology, and is so far a very interesting read and potentially useful to try to feel more optimistic and resilient.
  • 30 Rock was renewed for one more season.
  • The flower shop upgraded my delivery to Mom. Score!


8 May
Here I am, the night before an ultrasound to tell me whether or not this creature inside of me is still alive (I’m very doubtful but still holding out hope) and wondering why I want it so much. Kids are draining, in every way, and I’m not sure I’d be good at the job anyway. And if I’m this worried now when it’s still just a tadpole, what kind of nervous wreck will I be for the next 20 years? Most of my friends don’t have kids, so won’t it put a strain on our relationships? Couldn’t I grow old happily with an active life surrounded by adults, with way more money, not worrying about school districts, giving myself attention and sleeping whenever I want to? But I feel like this is my last chance, and I’m so lucky and grateful to even have it at all. I didn’t even know Michael 2 years ago and I can’t believe my good luck at meeting him in the 11th hour and accidentally getting knocked up, tricking him into being my life partner, dragging him into my ambition to have a kid NOW. It’s crazy. If it doesn’t work out this time, then what? Sigh. Getting old is so weird.


7 May
  • Michael bought me a pretty dress just because he thought I would like it and that it would look good on me. I do and it does!
  • Michael brought me flowers yesterday because he knew I’m feeling very nervous.
  • In general, Michael has been super affectionate and considerate to me lately, knowing that I’m massively stressed out.
  • Eren & Jim brought us to the Art Deco Ball, which was so much fun to look at everyone in their period costume and dance to a big band.
  • I went to the beach with Kristin and Helen last week for boogie boarding, noshing, and girl talk.
  • It’s beautiful summertime weather and I have time off to enjoy it.
  • Freaks and Geeks was such a good program, and since it only lasted one season it’s the perfect length for a marathon TV fest.
  • My band had a really fun gig on Friday. The sound was excellent!


26 Apr
  • We saw/heard Quetzalcoatl’s heartbeat! I am so pleased and shocked that so far this pregnancy is progressing well. I’m praying that it continues to go well, but at the very least, it was such a thrill to hear that tiny, fast heartbeat at nearly 7 weeks.
  • My new job is going to pay obscene amounts of money and comes with excellent benefits.
  • I have a whole week off in between jobs (and most of this week off too).
  • Michael got a job offer for something that will be challenging and lead to more positions he’s interested in.
  • The grocery store around the corner sells incredibly delicious sandwiches – my two favorites are peanut butter and jelly with sliced fresh strawberries on cinnamon bread and artichoke hearts, celery, and apples with mustard on whole wheat.
  • Eren & Jim invited us to the Art Deco Ball next weekend. I bought myself a long red 1940s gown to wear to the event.
  • We went to see the Alonzo King LINES ballet last weekend. It was the 2nd time I saw that company. They are amazing. Beautiful dance, great music selection, and fantastic stage lighting.

nicely nicely

12 Apr
  • I’m pregnant!
  • I got to spend Passover with the parents, which was totally fun. I’m especially grateful because they seem to be getting along in Dad’s retirement. Also, the whole time we were there, they didn’t turn on the TV at all. Plus, I’m grateful for Mom’s matzo ball soup.
  • I have 3 gigs coming up for Madam & the Ants – May 4, June 16, and July 27.
  • Santorum dropped out of the presidential race, which means there’s no danger of that lying, mean-spirited, bigoted person becoming our next president. He will be quickly forgotten and  his name will go back to being associated with the frothy mixture of semen and fecal matter that he deserves.
  • That said, I’m grateful to live in America, which is a way better choice that Syria, Mali, Iran, Libya, North Korea, or any country ending in -stan.
  • I’m grateful to my physiatrist for suggesting prolotherapy, which seems to be helping my back pain.
  • I’m grateful to my physical therapist for giving me a core strengthening routine that actually makes my abs hurt, without aggravating my back.
  • Today is Viki’s birthday!


22 Mar
  • Buskers in the Metro station. Sometimes there are music students in a little chamber orchestra, sometimes there’s a father & son on sax & guitar, sometimes there’s a rapper with percussion, sometimes there’s an opera singer, sometimes there are two homeless-looking guys with guitars who seem to have an inadvertent comedy act.
  • Cable cars. I’ve had the opportunity to ride a cable car several times in the past couple of weeks. Once with Mia in the pouring rain, we were hanging on the side of the car getting soaked. It was all part of the experience. I love the mechanical construction and how the driver handles the gear. The Cable Car Museum is totally awesome too. I also love the silly, giddy tourists who are riding the cable cars, reminding me how delightful San Francisco is.
  • Prolotherapy. My physiatrist thought I’d be a good candidate for this kind of treatment for my lower back pain. Basically, you get a sugar solution injected into your ligaments and it’s supposed to rebuild them stronger, with very little risk. It sounds ridiculous, but the literature I’ve read online makes it seem plausible. Anyway, it gives me hope.
  • My interviews have been going very well at HTC.
  • The old gay hippie in leather chaps who told me that my legs were psychedelic this morning. (I’m wearing paisley tights.)
  • Michael makes me laugh all the time, and he gets me when I express concerns.
  • I get to spend time with Viki and Andy this weekend!
  • Nizoral.
  • Springtime. It’s staying lighter later, rain is finally falling, nature is waking up.
  • There’s this tiny little hole-in-the-wall deli near work where they make cheap, perfect sandwiches. They’re Korean, so their specialty is the bulgogi sandwich, and it’s fantastic. But I’ve also had their egg salad sandwich and veggie burger, both of which were great. And they’re reasonable sized portions. But most of all, the people who work there are really nice and friendly and put a smile on my face whenever I go there.

okey dokey

9 Mar
  • Michael is making a pastrami. From scratch. Like, he bought a big hunk o’ meat and now he’s brining it for a few days, then smoking it for a few days, and sometime next week, we’ll have a homemade pastrami! 
  • I found out that my current job wants to make me a permanent offer sometime over the next few weeks. Which is extra-awesome in terms of the potential HTC opportunity. 
  • The sun is shining. 
  • My muscles are hurting (in the good way) from Pilates.